Promises Of Change To Recover A Relationship

Usually, promises of change are nothing more than empty words that the other person says to us to prevent us from abandoning him. Although it sounds selfish, we must think about ourselves.

Have you ever made promises of change to get a relationship back? Have they made them to you?

This situation occurs when the fear of a breakup comes true and we refuse to accept it.

The most curious thing is that in this specific case where the promises of change are present, the best that could have happened is that we do not continue together with the couple we were with.

Why? Because this request is, at times, an attempt at manipulation.

Promises of change so as not to lose

Let’s imagine that the person we were with has been unfaithful and, after this reality, we cut our losses.

• Our desperate partner tries by all means to make us understand that it was a mistake, that it will never happen again and that it will change. Promises of change pouring out of his mouth for approval.

• He will get on his knees if necessary, he will crawl and all this will cause the emotions of grief and compassion to be activated in us. Sometimes this will have its effect and we will give a second chance.

However, it is not about change, but about being aware that, no matter how many promises of change they make to us, this is said hotly, that is, in an attempt not to lose what we have.

What this means is that  this promise will not last long. What’s more, the moment we give a second chance, maybe everything will be the same again.

The situations in which these promises of change can be given are diverse: differences, lies, compatibility problems, falling out of love….

Given all this, the person with fear of losing or not assuming what is wrong in the relationship tries to get a second chance, whatever the cost, with promises full of great manipulative power.

Selfishness in relationships

Many times we do not want to realize how bad everything is going. We only focus on what we want and, therefore, we do not mind sacrificing our well-being and that of the other person.

This tends to happen a lot in cases of emotional dependence. The promises of change, then, are very present so as not to lose the one who is the object of our addiction.

We are selfish. We tie ourselves to someone while we feed our poison and while the other is a part of all this.

You cannot promise something if you are not sure you can deliver it. How to ensure that this will be so? Acting, doing and failing to promise in vain.

Because promises deceive others and sometimes even ourselves.

Our intentions may be good, but are we sure they will come to fruition? We don’t deserve this. We do not deserve that we lie to each other and we do not deserve that we do it with the other.

Prolongation of pain

Promises of change can prolong a situation that will only cause more and more pain.

Therefore, it is important not to get carried away by them, to be objective and realistic. It is difficult, but why not attend to those who advise us the opposite of what we want and those who we mark as wrong?

On more than one occasion we have had to hear “you shouldn’t continue like this”, “why don’t you leave it?”, “What do you gain by continuing with that relationship?”.

We do not want to hear all this that they tell us because we are confused and do the opposite. However, with time, with perspective, we realize the reason that all these people had.

Family, friends, siblings show us the path we should take, without insisting too much, without forcing ourselves to do anything.

But, in our inertia, we succumb to those promises of change that will never come true.

Let us open our eyes to the traps, let us not be carried away by compassion and sorrow. If necessary, let’s take some time.

Nobody says we have to make a decision now. Let’s take the time to see the situation from another angle, much clearer and more precise.